Another reminder... as if I needed it...

... today was another huge reminder of why you and I were never truly meant to be any more than very good friends.

I am very sentimental. I like believing in the American Dream. I like seeing others happy. I like seeing others get special things, special help. I like the thought of being some one's Valentine. I like the idea of receiving gifts on that "pseudo-holiday." I like the idea of my special someone acknowledging my birthday from the moment I wake up and making me feel extraordinarily special all day. I like the idea of doing the same thing for my special someone, making them feel like the most important person in the world.

I like the idea of creating sappy, sweet, sentimental memories with that special someone and celebrating special dates...even the most insignificant ones.

Although my heart aches horrendously every day because of the things I've never been able to experience, it aches as much for you because life has turned you so horribly, awfully bitter. It hurts because you can not truly find joy or happiness in much of anything.

I love you my friend... but that is all you are and sadly for me, all you ever will be.

Happy Valentine's Day.