As the saying goes "God said, I never said it would be easy... I only said it would be worth it." Well, the way I feel anymore, existence on "the other side" is going to be spectacular!!!!
Life just should not be this hard or hurt so much. I don't even know where to start with the list of what I'm feeling right now.
1. Right now the number one thing bothering me is birthdays and how people choose to recognize or ignore them. Today is my sister's birthday. Her husband isn't very thoughtful when it comes to gifts and remembering birthdays. He didn't take their son out shopping to get something for his Mom for her birthday. All he did was on his way to the gym, stopped, ordered 3 roses and had them delivered to the house. They've had this "fight" before. So, now not only is she hurt and disappointed, AGAIN, but my folks are pissed at him as well. I'm sitting here wanting to feel badly for her but I also feel badly for him. I KNOW what my sister is like and I know how miserable things can be and probably are for him right now. I want to tell my sister to "Suck it up Babe. Welcome to my reality. You don't always get what you think you should not matter what kind of fit you throw. This has been my world all of my life."
2.
Friday, August 8, 2014
Life just doesn't change
I just need a break... in so many ways.
- Gary needs to find a job. Him being home all day with little or no income is getting to me. I'm feeling a huge amount of stress.
- I need time to myself... alone... away from everyone! For more than a few hours!!!!
- I'm not good at making joint decisions. I want to buy a new computer. I hate having to "make reservations" to use the computer. But when I say I'm thinking of getting a laptop he shoots me down.
- I want to be able to do what I want when I want and that includes spending money!
- I don't know what I'm going to do about myself, my weight and my health. I have no determination or will-power.
- I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT DO TO WITH MY LIFE OR WHERE I'M GOING!!!!!!
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