Have you ever...?

... felt appreciated but not respected? I've been feeling that a lot lately on SO many fronts.

Days Like This

I hate days like this. Everything is pissing me off or putting me in tears. I don't want to talk to anyone; I don't want to do anything; I don't want to see anyone. I don't even want to look at pictures of my favorite 5-year old or kibbitz with my favorite person on instant message. It's stupid too.

I heard this morning that 2 of my favorite people won't be able to come to town for Thanksgiving. I so look forward to that every year and am extremely disappointed. Mom suggested maybe we change our plans and go to Sis's instead of staying home. I don't want to do that, but I'm considering telling her that she and Dad should go and I'll just stay home. Maybe I'd fix dinner for friends and do my own thing this year. I know that will NEVER fly! I don't truly have a life of my own. Even if I seriously wanted to do that I would end up being persona-non-grata and everyone would be mad at me.

I'm just having a horrible day today. I want to just go home and crawl back into bed.

I'm Tired...

...tired of feeling like everything I believe is wrong.

...tired of feeling that because I think something is wrong, I'm a horrible person.

...tired of constantly feeling like I owe someone an explanation.

...tired of not feeling like I can really be myself.

...tired of feeling like someone, somewhere is always judging me.

I want to be my own person, but I just don't feel like the world will let me.